finding my perfect harmony

"Dad, Dad, Dad!"

"Yeah, Cali Boo?"

"Play the one I love!"

Whenever my dad would hold my tiny, 5-pound baby body, I would scream and cry as if I were being murdered. Meanwhile, my nose would simply touch my mom's nose, and the crying would stop instantly. My dad could have easily gotten offended that I connected with my mom long before him, but he didn't. He never got offended, never complained, because he knew that his chance would come.

By the time I was old enough to understand what music was, probably age 4 or 5, that very thing became his chance. My dad understood my love for music far more than my mother did. Not that my mother didn't listen to music with me, but we had plenty of other activities that we bonded over, such as playing dress up. But my dad--my dad understood what exactly I loved about music and why I did. I remember sitting in the passenger's seat of his truck, my legs not even touching the ground. He had mixtapes upon mixtapes, each ranging from his all time favorites to Disney songs he only put on the disc for me. I grew up listening to the Beatles and the Eagles. I specifically remember driving down the road with my dad in the driver's seat, my small body in the middle, and my sister in the passenger's seat. We were listening to "Can't Buy Me Love" by the Beatles, which I loved, yet didn't know the words to. My dad and sister thought I was hilarious, as I was convinced that the words were "camp bubba low" and not "can't buy me love".

My favorite song to hear in his truck was "You'll Be In My Heart" from Tarzan. I never got the words mixed up, I knew exactly when to start singing; it was always my favorite. He knew it was my favorite, so he did exactly what any father would do. He played it as much as possible and put it on every mixtape, even if he didn't want to listen to it every time he got in the car. But he did, he listened to it every time he got into the car because it was my favorite---it reminded him of me. I decided from day one that "You'll Be In My Heart" was our song, and that our song would play at my wedding, for the dance with my dad. I made that decision at the age of 6 and at the age of 19, I have yet to change my mind. My dad has songs that remind him of me and vice versa. I think of him whenever I listen to "Cinderella" by Steven Curtis Chapman. My dad and I still sing together in the car, it's still our time together. Our rule is that we each pick a song and we continue to go back and forth. He usually plays "Hotel California" by the Eagles, and I usually choose something from a Broadway soundtrack or John Mayer.

As I got older, my music taste started to change. I started to listen to Broadway soundtracks rather than the Eagles. While my taste may have changed, the moments with my dad never did. He doesn't love musicals, but he listens to them because he knows that I love them. He takes me to see Broadway shows because it makes me happy, because he loves to see me happy. In fact, we went to New York City for my 16th birthday and saw Wicked. My dad wasn't thrilled, but he wasn't dreading it either. We walked out of the theater, and he ended up loving it just as much as I did. I've had the priviledge of starring in two of his favorite musicals, Mary Poppins and The Sound of Music. When I was audiitioning for The Sound of Music, I wasn't auditioning for myself. I desperately wanted to be one of the seven Von Trapp children because he loved the show so much. When he saw the show, he cried.

Music, no matter the genre, artist or time period it's from, will always be what my dad and I turn to. Music is what helps us understand each other. He does all that he can to make sure I'm happy, whether that means playing "You'll Be In My Heart" on repeat for two hours or singing to me when I'm upset. My dad may not have the best voice in the world. but he rocks it. He knows that I love to sing duets with him, so he sings "Summer Nights" with me despite the fact that he isn't John Travolta. He knows that I love music and him, and he chooses to sing with me to make his youngest daughter happy. When I'm happy, he's happy, and that's all we want for each other.

Much love,

Carolyn